These 5 stages of anger and aggression describe the journey from normal behaviour to uncontrolled rage. This will not happen for every person every time but is helpful to understand the different phases.
The Trigger – Something or someone in your environment triggers an aggressive response. Sometimes the trigger is obvious and easy to spot (e.g your partner shouts at you), sometimes it is subtle and seems to start for little or no reason.
The Escalation – You become visibly irritable and hostile. Your body tenses up, muttering under your breath, giving snappy responses or showing clear signs of agitation. Aggression builds – sometimes slowly bubbling up, sometimes more explosive.
The Crisis – Angry and aggressive behaviour intensifies. At this point, your ability to think calmly and communicate effective is severely limited. You may feel like you lose control of your actions. Verbal anger could take the form of confrontation, arguments or threats. Physical aggression also may occur here, towards objects or people. This can feel very scary for the others involved, particularly if they are your loved ones.
The Recovery – Anger subsides. You may feel very upset, guilty or ashamed of your behaviour. You may leave the situation, feel very remorseful or even get upset and cry. In this stage you may seek for forgiveness from those you got angry towards.
Normal function – You are fully back in control of your emotions and can continue as normal. However those around you may continue to struggle.